I know have written previous posts about learning who you are now….. but I thought it was time for an update.
On my journey to discover what I like and what I want to do with my free time has begun to get clearer for me. In my 20’s is when I was in the me, me, me time. I have reflected on that time to get a base line of what I enjoyed back then.
Concerts, travel, singing and anything on the water was where I felt most joyful. But, also, doing these things with people I enjoyed made it so much more special. Money is always an issue, but I have had a great time going to concerts and performances, finding bargains for travel and have even had an opportunity to sing with my son’s band. Still hoping to get a boat someday…but with kids in college, that one might take awhile. In the meantime, finding my joy has been exciting and a bit scary at times.
The next hurdle will be starting to do things by myself……
The journey continues.
Creating a buzz…..……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
About the same time as the financial crisis, my personal life was going down the toilet as well. I felt like I was being punched from all sides. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, unhappy, frustrated and down right miserable.
I had so many fires burning, I did not know which one to put out first. It dawned on me, that many of the challenges I was facing were outside my control. But, there were a few things I could do to improve how I was feeling.
I started investing in myself.
First, I went to the people I loved and that gave me emotional support. I told them that I had things I had to do that required a positive mental outlook. I could not be around anyone that was negative! This did not mean if someone had an issue that I did not want to hear it and encourage them to work toward a solution. But negativity – the for the sake of negativity – is not something I could be around. What I had to do required positivity.
Then, I listened to the advice I was given. I began taking some quiet time for myself; by myself. This gave me time to regenerate and refresh. I used this time to do something that was restful and relaxing. By doing this weekly, I began to attach the challenges with a renewed vigor and confidence. Little by little my energy stores were being increased.
Finally, I started exercising weekly. Let me be clear- I HATE exercising! But what I realized in the process of doing something I hate, I became more self disciplined. My stress level was much more manageable and I looked better. (Always a plus.)
It’s been a process for the last 4 years. I can’t say I haven’t fallen off the wagon occasionally, but I always get back on. I know that the results are worth it.
Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
I am in the process of reading another book Brené Brown has written.
This book is titled Daring Greatly. She has quoted Theodore Roosevelt’s Man in the Arena quote:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
When you are going where no one else has gone before you in your group or family – becoming an entrepreneur, creating art or music, or taking risk on an investment, look for feedback and encouragement from someone that is in that arena.
Loved ones, friends and family, might not be the best people to seek council or advise — as much as they might have your best interest at heart – but being in the arena requires taking risks, being courageous, following your heart and most people do not do this. They live a safe life from the bleachers.
If you are going to live YOUR life, do so from inside the arena and pay no attention to those that might judge you from the sidelines.
Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
When did we become so obsessed with fitting in? Being just like all of our peers? We talk about being unique and loving ourselves. We even fill up Facebook with inspirational quotes to remind us. Yet, from my view point, we are obsessed with fitting in than standing out of the crowd.
What do I mean? Let’s take kids, for example:
Dress like everyone else, speak the same language, have the same phone etc. Now while fitting in, have the best grades, be the best football player, be the most popular….etc. So what happens to the kid that is trying to fit in but cannot stand out in the most acceptable areas?
Similar things happen in the work place as well:
Someone who wears the blue suit, white shirt and red tie but is not the stellar salesman but keeps the computer systems up and running day in and day out. Fitting in but not standing out…..
Fitting in is like putting an emotional stopper on who we are. It is a constant reminder that our differences may bring the kind of attention that scares us. So to remain somewhat invisible, we conform. This takes the joy out of being able to be the person we were meant to be.
How are you conforming? How has it limited your joy?
Stand out! Be the unique person you were meant to be.
Creating a buzz ¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
Bravery conjures images of a warrior facing the foe – looking it directly in the eye and having the ability to push the fear aside to face victory or defeat.
I would have described myself as brave for the first 49 years of my life. Looking at each battleground as just an obstacle to overcome. My sword was optimism and shield was dogged persistency to learn all I could about my foe. Whether it was the autism my daughter suffered or the juvenile rheumatoid arthritis my son had, they would not beat me down. To this end I was victorious.
However, at 50 I started to realize that I did not breathe: I felt strangled by the life that was mine. I was smart, mildly successful in my business, and had done things that I was proud of but, if asked, could not tell you what I wanted the next 1/2 of my life to be. I could not tell you what I enjoyed, did not have a hobby or a goal to achieve.
What did others think of me? What did others see in me that maybe I just could not uncover? For so many reasons, self esteem, fear (and a lot of it), always putting myself last. Finally, feeling that I had to get to know myself; really take a look at who I am, I began a new journey.
I was so afraid of confrontation, being judged and told I was being ridiculous. The day of this realization, I went to bed for 24 hours trying to deny it. Eventually, I realized that this was truth; it was who I was. When I got up out of that bed, I could be a new person, have a fresh start…. I had seen my weaknesses and was determined not to be ruled by these fears again.
I needed courage and bravery to push me through the uncomfortable days ahead. When judgement was facing me in the mirror, I had to look her in the eye and tell her I was worthy and owed myself the gift of being authentically me.
Creating a buzz ¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
So much has been written lately about courage that maybe we have gotten confused about what and when we are courageous. The media makes us believe that courage can only be demonstrated by extreme acts; i.e., Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner or a war hero or a fireman pulling someone out of a burning building. And while many of us would agree these are forms of courage, we have lost the notion that to be courageous may actually be small steps done in the face of fear.
So many stories come to mind of people that have stepped up in what might appear as just a daily living that have been a true test of their courage:
What about the alcoholic that commits everyday to being sober and has been for many years?
What about a high school student that chooses not to do drugs when all his friends are?
What about a man that stands up to his peers for equal pay for females in the workplace?
What about the soccer mom that stands up to the abusive parent on the sidelines?
Acknowledge when you show courage. Most often it is when you are afraid but you lean into the fear and you speak/do from your heart. Let us not forget about the small acts of courage we do.
Newsworthy does not equate with courage!
How do you live courageously?
Creating a buzz………
*picture taken from Google images (attribution unknown)