Have you ever used the excuse, ‘waiting to get my ducks in a row’?

Have you ever used the excuse, ‘waiting to get my ducks in a row’?   Why are we always trying to do this?

I wondered where this saying might have come from, and there appears to be a couple of different ideas…but the one that seemed most logical to me was in regard to bowling.  Pins used to be shorter and resembled a duck, and therefore called ducks.  Before the bowler would throw the ball, he would make sure the ducks were in a row.  Sounds about right.

But bowling pins are objects and will stay where placed until the ball moves them.  How many of us struggle on a daily basis to get our ”ducks in a row”?

Today the meaning has changed to an idea of getting all the details managed and addressed before moving forward.  However,  ducks never stay in a row and life is often unpredictable. If we are constantly waiting for all life’s details to be managed and “in a row,” we will never achieve our dreams.

My mom always said there is no better time than today.  That applies to most things.  Start living today to create the life that you want.  Most of the details that we worry over aren’t really that important but more of road blocks we create:  After I lose weight…. When I get that promotion….. When I have more money……

Let’s not worry about getting all “our ducks in a row” but rather moving forward toward the life we envision for ourselves.

Creating a buzz…..¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Am I On The Right Track?

I ask myself, probably once a month: Am I on the right track?

Am I keeping first things first.  Is my compass still pointing due north?  Am I still on the right path? And even though the answer is “yes”, that little bit of nagging self doubt is holding me stationery.


Currently, I have felt that I am standing on a ledge ready to jump off and fly.  I have an excitement around the work I am doing. I feel that my success is just beyond my reach.  But, I still have a bit of doubt. Have I checked and triple checked my equipment? Do I have all the information I need? Do I know what to do after I take off?  What will I do if I fall?

I am on the precipice and need to jump to get to the next level.  But, honestly, I am still carrying a bit of fear.  I know I have to jump and as soon as I do, I won’t have time to think about the consequences.  I will be too busy.

So to quote Nike “Just do it.”

Creating a buzz….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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I have had an openly hate relationship with my mirror

They say that a mirror is the window of the soul. This cliche makes me  think of the Harry Potter movie, where Harry stares at the mirror seeing himself with this mother and father: the thing he desires most.

Kimberly Brust Recently, I had to face the fact that I have had an openly hate relationship with my mirror.  It seems like every time I looked in the mirror, I saw the third grade picture of myself: short, chubby, shag haircut.  Probably, one of my worst pictures, ever!  Of all the pictures ever taken, why would I see the ugliest one every time?  I have seen other pictures of myself and know that this picture is only one  of 1000’s and that I have plenty of pictures that look beautiful. It feels like watching a scary movie and after you watch the scene you can’ t “un-see” it.

This relationship with my mirror kept me feeling little, small and afraid.  Much like I did in third grade.  It affected my confidence in both my personal and business life.  It was the root of mPicture2any of my decisions.  Ultimately, I had to face that girl and put her in her place: my past!

Not who I am. Not holding me back. Not afraid. Not little. Not me. Simply an awkward phase that all children go through.

Now when I look at the mirror and my third grade self shows up, I simply replace her with the memory of a picture that reminds me of the woman I am now.

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Get right with yourself.  Own your story. 

Kim BrustThroughout my life, I can remember times when I said, I feel like a have a mask on.  I am not being myself.  Fit in but stand out…. (WT Heck). Be the best but don’t ask for help … you don’t want to appear weak.  Toot your own horn occasionally but be modest and humble. Make money but don’t flaunt it.

Listen:  Here is my story: I am a high-achieving, type-A personality. I have struggled with perfectionism. I have made myself ragged by being too busy running. Refused to admit defeat and was ever the optimist.  I can’t stand to look at pictures of myself. I have always put myself last. I struggle with my worthiness for the gifts I receive.

But also listen: This is not my entire story.  I have raised goal-oriented, loving children. I have learned new skills to bring my business to a new generation of consumers.  I have stopped trying to fit in or stand out!  True wisdom comes from knowing when to quit.  I found that by putting myself first, my loved ones were happier too. I said ‘no’ to the good so I would be ready to say ‘yes’ to the great. I have learned to listen to myself.

The first 50 years were hard fought lessons that needed to be learned.  I am proud to wear the scars of being in the arena. Those scars remind me of where I have been and what I have learned. Facing what I hope to be another 50 years, I will remain in the arena fighting to discover my strength and learn the lessons life has for me.

Creating a buzz  ¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Your journey to finding your passions – Part 2

Your journey to finding your passions started with your strengths, personality and stories.  Step 2 will require quiet contemplation and, perhaps, require a little visual stimulation.

Kimberly BrustI used Pinterest.  I searched core values.  There were many pins that had lists of core values.  These are the words that describe those things you hold to be the most important things in your life.  Normally, people will have 4 or 5 of these that are really more important than anything else.  You will see these in the stories you wrote down in step one.

One of the pins I looked at had 450 values.  I went through and wrote down the words that resonated with me.  Then, I weened the list down until I had a true idea of my core values.

The pattern of my stories reflected my core values.  My one example for me was education.  I remember I had my daughter March of 1996 and in August of 1996 I started my MBA. I was so excited to be learning new STUFF.  Excited to meet smart, innovative, creative business people looking to expand their horizons.  I knew when I saw the word ‘education,’ that was a core value.

From that point on, I began trying to learn all kinds of new things. I also began a program at work to reward people that were getting additional education and help with some of their expenses. The incredible thing was, I was waking up excited, could not wait for the next day, constantly reading and listening to things I had an interest in.  My team members also felt the excitement and started learning new things.  All 8 of my team members are expanding their horizons with college courses and/or professional certifications.

Find your core values.  As we move forward in discovering your passion, you will need these.

Creating a buzz .¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

 

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What does it take to find your passion?

Maybe you had it and you lost it. Maybe you never had it. How do you know when you are doing it?

What is your passionThese are questions that have been driving me the last four years.  What is my passion? How do I find it?  Where do I start?

In this post, I want to get you started.

First step, do some self discovery.  I used a couple of tools to find my strengths and gifts again.  Specifically, a Myers Briggs survey, Strengthfinders 2.0, and reviewing my past history.  The first two are pretty straight forward, but the last one takes some time to create a story.  What I found most helpful is looking at the times in my life when I could not wait to start. Felt excited or energized about what was happening.  I wrote these events down in my journal.  I tried to reflect on how I was feeling, what I liked about what was happening.  This took time. Once I had a few stories written down, I started to look for patterns and similarities.  Then I wrote those down.  This was the beginning of finding my passion.

If you are looking for yours, start with the above steps to begin the journey.

Creating a buzz .¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Why do women shame other women for their choices?

Kim BrustCulturally, we have shamed women for wearing makeup, body type,  working, breast feeding or not, aging and even personality traits.

What are we doing?  Should I feel bad that I am curvy and not thin?  That I love to wear makeup, especially lipstick? That I love to work and wanted to have children? Why are my choices up for debate by other women and the media as to which is better for me?

Are we as women so insecure in our own choices that we must criticize and judge those that make different choices?  Isn’t it time to band together and accept each other for the choices we make, even when we might disagree?

Get right with yourself and your choices – then allow other women to do the same.  We are all on a journey, so let’s not define each other by our choices and shame those that chose differently!

Little by little…a small band of people can change the world.  Stop the shaming! Let’s spread the word!

Creating a buzz…….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Baby Boomers and Getting Married

Kim BrustAccording to many studies, more and more baby boomers are becoming single and not wanting to get married.  This presents some questions that should be considered:

  • What happens if I get sick and can no longer work?
  • How will I afford retirement?
  • Do I have a plan for my funeral and final expenses?
  • Have I told anyone?
  • Who will I ask for help?

All these questions and more based on your personal situation.

Whether we are male or female, whether we took care of the finances, we need to have a plan and let the people we will rely on know it.  Too many times things take us by surprise and the decisions we make under stress are not as thought out as they should be.

If you are single, especially over 50, get a plan, share it with your loved ones right away.  Don’t let the wrong person decide for you.

Creating a buzz…….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Self Discovery

I turned 50 almost 4 years ago and got divorced the same year.  Since then, it has been a time of great change and self discovery for me.  Like most people, my initial reaction was run, run, run, work, kids, play, date and deny, then repeat.  I did this for the first three years.  I finally had to say, “what do I want?”  This was not it.

This is when the self discovery started.  I have read some books, enrolled in coaching and am learning to spend time with myself.  Some of it difficult and at times I feel afraid ( but believe me, I never told anyone.) I realized that the running was keeping me from facing myself square on with the truth that I needed to hear.

I could spend the rest of my life alone, and I better make sure that I like myself and can do things I want by myself.

self discovery I would definitely not go out to dinner by myself unless it was my only option or happened to be traveling for work.

This year, as I wrote my goals, I reflected on what I needed to do to prepare for the time when my kids were all gone, which is only about 1 1/2 years. What would I do with all this time? I did not want to be one of those people that could only talk about their kids because they had never gotten back to themselves.

This year I will start to conquer my fear of doing things alone.  My first weekend away is scheduled this month.  I will let you know how it goes.

If you have finally gotten back to you, please let me know how your process went and what you did.

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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There is no class to teach our children life skills

I have lived in Florida for my entire life.  I have heard about how the education process needs to change.  We went from math to new math, phonics to sight words and back to phonics again.  However, one thing has not changed.  There is no class to teach our children life skills.

teach children life skillsMy two sons and I were eating dinner one night.  I had just purchased a car for my daughter.  My youngest one asked, “How did you know about buying cars, mom?”  I let him know that it was a process of mistakes that I learned from.  “Well, how did you know how to get a mortgage?”  I said, “I bought my first house when I was 25 and asked questions.” They both agreed that these are things that need to be taught in school.

I was thinking about it.  How many times as an adult, do we feel that we have been taken advantage of at the car dealership?  Do we really understand all the papers you sign at a mortgage?  Believe me, you will have a book when you are done.

Young people don’t know how to reconcile their bank statements, write a check, or understand the cost of money.

As my job involves money and assets, I believe that giving my team an education in money and how it works will help them pay it forward.

Educating our young people about money, budgeting and finance is how they need to spend part of their school career.  Understanding this will help not only individual families but the financial future for everyone.

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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