Immediate gratification. Instantaneous results.

Immediate gratification.  Instantaneous results. First one in. Newer is better. I want it now!

immediate gratificationWe have become a society of I want it first and now with no consideration of can I afford it or what the cost is.  This is very evident in the cell phone market.  Every time a new model comes out, people are running to get it, even when the changes are minor.  The phone companies have even developed plans to help us achieve immediate gratification.  Pay this amount and upgrade every 12 months.  Or sign a two-year contract and receive a new phone.  You know you are paying for this.

One lesson I have taught my kids is “nothing is free.”  Somewhere, somehow there is a cost built in.

I mean, was there enough of a difference from the 6 to the 6s?  Forget the hype and the media telling us that we need it.  It is time to start looking at the true cost of what we purchase to determine if what we are getting is of value.

A friend once told me that she loved M&M’s and every day at 3 she would like to go get a bag. But she realized that is was just an impulse and that her figure did not need those M&M’s everyday.  So, she would postpone the gratification and many times she would realize that she really did not want them.  By postponing the immediate gratification, she had more money in her pocket, less weight on the scale and was in control of her impulses.

Let’s start the new year, learning to control our need for immediate gratification!

How will you make the change?

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Let me dispel the myth…no one can be perfect at everything

Let me dispel the myth.  No one can be perfect at everything or, for that matter, anything.  No one can have it all….

Kim Brust, Kimberly Brust, Feel LostLooking at all my successful, motivated female friends I realize that so many of us are unhappy.  Why?  Many of us have successful careers, raised our children and they are moving to independence, in good relationships, have a lovely home and drive a nice car – so why are we so unhappy?

We lost ourselves along the way.  We made life more about gaining things and the appearance of the perfect life.

Our day began before the sun with 1 hour on the treadmill,  pack the lunches and get the kids to school, work 8 hours determined to win the next award, pick kids up and take them to the next after school activity, then home to help with homework, make dinner, clean up, tuck the kids into bed then spend the last few minutes with our husband.  We have done this everyday for so many years we stopped counting.  Don’t get me wrong, the weekends are no different. We have filled those two days to the brim as well.

As we pass the mid point of our lives, we start to question, what next?  This leads us to the next question, who am I?  What do I like?  What do I fill up my time with? Why am I so tired?

In order to move forward, some times we need to be still.  Remember what we used to be like before we filled our life with all the busy activities we thought we needed to do.  And may I say…without asking for help…even from our husbands, unless absolutely necessary.

If you feel you have lost yourself, take time to be still and let your mind wander.  Create some quiet space for you. I have done this by going out to the pool and just floating.  It lets my mind drift over ideas and thoughts that have helped me get to know myself again.  Regular time to be alone with yourself will help visualize your life and what it takes to make it a happy one.

Creating a buzz….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

 

 

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Am I the sum of my mistakes?

Life is filled with happiness and sadness, success and failure, ups and downs.  If I looked at my life in fast forward, I would see how all the negative lead me to a more positive place.  Myself, I am ever the optimist, but unfortunately there are people that want to remind me of my mistakes as if that is who I am – incapable of learning and moving forward.

Kimberly BrustI would like to be reminded of the positive things I have done then balance that with the negative choices I have made.  I think if I put all that on a scale, I would still come out with a positive result.   To live in a place simply reminding ourselves or allowing others to remind us of our mistakes over and over is unhealthy and damaging to our self esteem.

If I am able to recall why I made that choice in the beginning, I am sure that with the information I had, I felt like I was doing the right thing.

Sooooo, take it easy. Don’t beat yourself up about the past.  Look forward; how can I make good choices? When I make a mistake, what do I tell myself?  If I realize a failure, remember “Fail Forward.”

Only when we fail do we really learn something about ourselves.  Change the way you look at “failure.” It might be the best opportunity yet.

Tell me about a time when you realized a  failure was really an opportunity!

Creating a buzz…..

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My business is centered around people

Creating-a-BuzzMy business is centered around people.  I have a team of  professionals that I want to be sure understand that it is the experience of each one of our customers that should be our primary focus.

We can’t always do what the client wants. Sometimes we have to be the bearer of bad news and we sometimes see clients under the most extreme stress.  However, it is the “feeling” the client has when he was in front of us that is important.

*Did we listen?

  • Did we show empathy?
  • Were we able to offer alternatives?
  • Did we tell them how much we value them?

In this world of computerized phone systems, email and texting and the ever revolving door of customer service representatives answering the 800 number, I believe that being able to connect with the client in a way that they are seldom able to will become a highly desirable skill.

Even now, we can see that people will become educated online but when it comes down to the actual purchase, they still want to talk to someone. If we can make that experience one where the client felt valued, then I think we will be able to create a niche in the marketplace where clients want to be.

 

How do you show your clients, friends, family you value them?

creating a buzz…..

*picture found on Pinterest

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A Fresh Start

Every year I look forward to a fresh start in January.  Then by the end of the first quarter nothing seems different.  Until now. Over the last two years I have decided that I should find my passion and follow it.  It was hard to identify at first.  I knew what made me happy, family, dancing (especially salsa), music ( all types ) and traveling. But passion felt bigger than this.

Picture2My coach told me that passion comes from inside us; from our world view. It creates in us a want to make a difference.  I considered this along with understanding what my strengths and natural talents were. (we all have them)

My passion is so focused and it drives me everyday. I get up with an excitement to see what the day holds.  I am learning things and challenging myself in ways I was so afraid of.  But in the process I know that even if I fail that I will learn more about myself and it will only fuel my passion.

This year will be fresh, because I am.

Creating a buzz……

*picture found on Pinterest

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Never stop asking questions

Why should you never stop asking questions?

Recently, I had a the opportunity to read a book by Joseph Jordan, Living a Life of Significance.  While this book is directed to people in the insurance business, there was something I read that I think is something we can all use everyday.  Ask questions????? then listen for the answer.

Never stop asking questionsWhy is this important?

(waiting)…..

Think about a small child around two or three years old. They go through a stage of asking ‘Why?’  over and over again. At some point, they hear, ‘because I said so.’  Then questions get further and further apart.  We start to take what we are told and quietly accept  the answer. Notice I did not say ‘you agree’ but just ‘accept it!’

What happened to questioning things and encouraging others to question things when they don’t understand or agree?What negative results could happen? Why should you never stop asking questions?

I really don’t see any.  We could understand each other?  We could create buy in to the solution? We could create a better solution?  We could work past misunderstandings and false harmony?

I believe this is a good idea for home, work, friendships and including intimate relationships.

Ask questions and question yourself then wait for your answer!

Tell me if you think ‘Why’ is still important.

Creating a buzz…….

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This isn’t a masquerade….

Picture1What does it mean to be yourself? Who else could you be? This isn’t a masquerade. It seems to me that I have always tried to please others and fit in. Was I born like that or was I conditioned? I think there was a combination of things.

First, growing up in a small southern town appearances were everything. You never let anyone see a flaw. You leave your home fully dressed, make up on and hair done. You want to be the smartest kid in school, but you are told that you don’t work up to your potential. You are told you don’t practice the right religion, so you are relegated to the back of the room to teach yourself. Because your parents have a drink at night before dinner, there are kids that can’t come to your house. So you learn pretty quick to cover things up. Smile and never let them see the real you.

But then there was the self confidence issue. I could have used a whole lot more than I had. Every time I looked in the mirror, I said things like, “you are too fat, your hair won’t cooperate for the perfect “Farrah Fawcett” style,” and how you did not work up to your potential….focused on the bad and then spent so much time trying to cover that up as well.

After years and years of this, I forgot what made me, me! I had to remove that mask and start being myself, say no when I wanted, be angry when I wanted and do things the way I wanted, not what was expected.

Guess what? My confidence has grown. I feel happy, even exuberant. A couple of different people that I see only occasionally have said, “something is different about you; did you change the color of your hair? You look great.” It is just the happiness that shows on my face.

BE YOURSELF, EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN.

Creating a buzz…

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Why Do We Look For The Quick Fix?

My daughter recently graduated from high school. We had a couple hours together and reflected on our journey thus far.  We both knew that our journey had not been predicated on a ‘quick fix.’

The mantra from Jim Olson’s book, “The Slight Edge,” sums up the last 18 years: ” Small steps taken consistently over a long period of time with faith and burning desire.”

Kim Brust Quick FixThere was no pill, no book, no six months of therapy that would have given us the success we feel today. It started in kindergarten with tutoring three times a week until 10th grade, social skills classes every Saturday morning for five years, occupational therapy for two years once a week and daily listening, coaching and role playing.

We sat there in the pool together and I admitted there were times when I was afraid for her, and she admitted there were times she was afraid for herself, too. Then we laughed and admitted to putting on our big girl panties and pushing through. There were no short cuts! Everyday we took one more step toward our goals and dreams.

Today, I can honestly admit that she has taught me about determination – even when it felt insurmountable. I told her when she was little that I would provide every opportunity and then she would have to get all that she could out of it. She did. She is my hero!

But… the journey continues.

Creating a buzz……

*picture found on Pinterest

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What is the Definition of “Sexy”?

Remember when you were little and you could laugh with abandon? Play all day and then eat like you were starving? The quote from Courtney E. Martin says so much about what we have given up as women:

Kim Brust You Know what's really powerfully sexy

Over the last two years I have started dating. Believe me, this is not what I thought I would be doing at 52 years old. But I love the companion of men. I love how they are able to have fun and be a boy once in a while. Look for adventure in life. They want to find a woman that is willing to take their sense of humor, laugh at their jokes and give them a smart come back.

Not all men are looking for that model type. A common thread in the men I have met is a women that is confident and happy. Unable to see what she doesn’t have but loves what she does.   A very special man, who is significantly younger than I am, said to me regarding our age difference, “if it doesn’t bother me, why should it bother you?”

I realized I needed to stop talking about my insecurities. If it was a problem for him, he would not be there. That would include my insecurity about my weight, my hair, the lines around my eyes, etc., etc., etc…….

Creating a buzz….

*picture found on Pinterest

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