Recently, my mom has put together books on genealogy on her side of the family.
As I was reading, one word came to mind: scarcity.
The word scarcity is normally used in terms of resources. When you think of my family’s history, scarcity definitely describes life.
Briefly, my family came from the corner of Virginia, West Virginia and North Carolina. They were farmers or worked in or around the coal mines. Life was very hard. Many times food, clothes, electricity, and time were scarce. Mothers worked in the home but the work was labor intensive and took so much time to complete. I can only think there were so many times when they thought: no matter what I do, it is never enough and there is more tomorrow.
With this history of scarcity, it is not difficult to see how women got to the “just not enough” mentality. In my opinion, instead of being “not enough time,” it has turned into “not good enough.” I realize that this might seem like a big leap, but throughout the ages we have learned from what the previous generations have taught their children. Life was filled with scarcity.
Life may have less scarcity of resources for many of us; however, we are still in the scarcity mentally.
Do you have enough?
Creating a buzz…..¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
Culturally, we have shamed women for wearing makeup, body type, working, breast feeding or not, aging and even personality traits.
What are we doing? Should I feel bad that I am curvy and not thin? That I love to wear makeup, especially lipstick? That I love to work and wanted to have children? Why are my choices up for debate by other women and the media as to which is better for me?
Are we as women so insecure in our own choices that we must criticize and judge those that make different choices? Isn’t it time to band together and accept each other for the choices we make, even when we might disagree?
Get right with yourself and your choices – then allow other women to do the same. We are all on a journey, so let’s not define each other by our choices and shame those that chose differently!
Little by little…a small band of people can change the world. Stop the shaming! Let’s spread the word!
Creating a buzz…….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ
Employee or business owner, mother, wife, friend and volunteer are all titles that many women wear daily. When my kids were little, I would often think about standing in a hat shop trying on different hats. During a normal day, I would wear 3-4 hats interchangeably. Off. On. Off. On. Off. On.
It wasn’t a wonder that I was tired at the end of the day. What’s for dinner? Can I go to my friend’s house? Can this employee have vacation time? Can you see Mr. Client now? Do you want to have a date night on Saturday? The girls are meeting for lunch on Saturday, are you in? How many tickets can you sell? Can you clean up after the event?
Whew, where is the balance and better yet, where is the ‘me’ time?
No one will give you this time! You must take it! Ask yourself this question: If I am not there for myself, how can I be there for anyone else?” So many people depend on you. And you want to be able to be in 100%. If this is true, then you must take time for yourself.
Begin by just carving out a small amount of quiet time for yourself daily. It could be 15-30 minutes undisturbed to just let your mind wander. You will be surprised how this small amount of time will become like a vitamin. When you don’t take it, you really miss it.
You will begin to look forward to this time as a time you can be creative, dream, look into the future and plan how you are going to get there.
Let me know how this works for you.
Creating a buzz…
My business is centered around people. I have a team of professionals that I want to be sure understand that it is the experience of each one of our customers that should be our primary focus.
We can’t always do what the client wants. Sometimes we have to be the bearer of bad news and we sometimes see clients under the most extreme stress. However, it is the “feeling” the client has when he was in front of us that is important.
*Did we listen?
- Did we show empathy?
- Were we able to offer alternatives?
- Did we tell them how much we value them?
In this world of computerized phone systems, email and texting and the ever revolving door of customer service representatives answering the 800 number, I believe that being able to connect with the client in a way that they are seldom able to will become a highly desirable skill.
Even now, we can see that people will become educated online but when it comes down to the actual purchase, they still want to talk to someone. If we can make that experience one where the client felt valued, then I think we will be able to create a niche in the marketplace where clients want to be.
How do you show your clients, friends, family you value them?
creating a buzz…..
*picture found on Pinterest
Why do we find fault with other women? Does it really make us feel better? Does our self esteem need to tear down someone to feel better about ourselves? Can you imagine the power women would have if we were able to acknowledge each other’s gifts and talents? Give a compliment? Find something positive in each other? Instead of trying to stand alone, why not band together and encourage, coach and mentor women around us to achieve more?
Women still have a hard time breaking the glass ceiling. Since 2010 the number or women executives in the Fortune 500 has remained just above 14%. We need to start talking about and believing that we are good enough to run these corporations. Lifting those future women leaders up should be the motivation of all women.
Culturally, men have what we call the “good ole boy network” to help young men move forward.
I feel that we need to have the same thing for women. To assist our generation in moving forward and taking charge, but also, to assist our future generations of women break that glass ceiling.
How can you help? How can we all help?
Creating a buzz….
Let’s bee the “Wind Beneath My Wings,” for our gender!
Is there a time when you finally have to say “UNCLE?”
I never thought so until recently. Giving up just felt like failure. This just was not part of my plan; ever! I had convinced myself that failure was a reflection of the hard work that I put into something. So I would doggedly continue down the same path, doing the same thing because I just could not admit defeat.
Then I heard something that made me think about failure or giving up or changing the direction of my journey in a totally different way. Specifically “Fail Forward.”
There are times when you are going to fail. Sometimes in spite of yourself, things just don’t go as you need. But if you fail forward and you can take something valuable away from the experience then you are still moving forward on your journey.
I heard this about the same time as “fail forward:”
So just keeping aiming and don’t be afraid of taking a step back.
Creating a buzz……
Women, you gotta have a little bit of bling!
I am FABULOUS! This is what I tell myself everyday. My self confidence was always on the weak side, even when receiving awards and accolades. To remind myself that I am FABULOUS! I wear a bit of bling. I bit of glitter or sparkle. It seems to be my signature. When I don’t have it, people notice. Many times they will even ask, where is the bling? Could be on a purse, belt, big necklace or phone case.
Now I never want to over do it. Just a touch to remind me when I look in the mirror that I am FABULOUS! (I am smiling even as I say it.)
What is your signature? What reminds you, you are FABULOUS?
Creating a buzz…
*Picture found on Pinterest
When forces outside my control forced me to think about my own survival, and make decisions that affected others in a negative way, how quickly all the years of doing for the very same people was forgotten.
It was ok for me to struggle, but goodness, don’t let that struggle touch them… Don’t get me wrong, in a fight I am going to come out on top. I will learn what I need to do, I will create solutions to improve the situation and I will diligently work until I am back on top again. I never give up. (and that is a topic for another day)
On that path, I realized that some people were coming with me and others were choosing another path. And, in order for all of us to grow, I had to let go of some of the people from my past. Our paths were divergent. As I have continued to pull myself up that rocky path and grown as a leader, I realized that I have changed and I was not the person that some of these people had known for all these years. In fact, they might not even like the new, improved (my opinion) me. I HAD TO BE OK WITH THIS. I made those choices and these were the consequences.
Scared but hopefully looking forward……
Creating a buzz…
I took a test to see if I was having a midlife crisis. Why would I do that, you ask? Well, I in my 50’s, shouldn’t I be?
Well the test said no. Hmmmmm.
That got me thinking about what is a midlife crisis and how does it affect women? Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, as young women, we were told that we could be anything, do anything, have anything… REALLY? We saw our mothers keep a clean house, have dinner on the table at the same time every night and be involved in school activities. Many times they would have a job such as a nurse, secretary or teacher. Roles that were considered feminine by that generation. Smart women were simply kept back from achieving really financial success in their career.
Now, as their daughters, in our 50’s and 60’s we might have an empty nest, achieved success in our business ventures, be married or divorced and are still looking for what is next? We are restless and asking: Is this all there is? Now what?
We have held our standards so high that the dream of having it all was an impossible task. The perfect family: can I say let’s put the fun back in dysfunctional? The greatest career: I have been doing the same thing for 30 years. The perfect house: 3 kids, 2 dogs, need I say more. A perfectly prepared meal every night at 6:00 pm: I hate to cook.
For me, I had to get my nose bloody. I was totally lost as a person. I did not know who I was or what I wanted with MY life. So instead of a midlife crisis, I call it a midlife quest. A quest to redefine myself, my way. I don’t want my identity to be defined by others, my job or what I like to do. It should be defined by the values I hold.
More on values soon…
Creating a buzz…..