About two years ago, I met a lady who did numerology. She asked me my birthdate and some other information. She did her calculations and advised me for the next two years I would be learning about patience. I laughed….
Afterwards, I went home and told my daughter about this discussion. She said, “Mom, I think you had a lot more patience when I was younger.” “WHAT, I said? I have patience.” My son looked at me and said, “not really, mom.” My response: “You guys are crazy, I have a lot of patience!”
That was two years ago. I have realized that I had very little patience. I wanted my business to turn around immediately…I wanted my divorce to be over quickly…I wanted my house to sell…I want it done NOW! I always felt like I was rushing to get things done.
Over the last two years, many of those “wants” listed above are still going on. My outlook on patience has changed as well. I had NONE. Everything I needed to do and still need to do will take time, many steps, involve others and their time line and happen when it is time. Like a good wine or a wonderful meal, time is the most important ingredient. You just cannot rush things.
Taking the time to watch things grow and develop give you the opportunity to tweak things before they get too far along. Then there is the appreciation that comes from seeing things through. Again, I reflect on my quote I repeat daily, “small steps taken consistently over a long period of time with faith and burning desire.”
I am a work in progress with regard to patience, but I know I certainly have more than I did two years ago.
Do you have patience? How has it paid off?
Creating a buzz..
When forces outside my control forced me to think about my own survival, and make decisions that affected others in a negative way, how quickly all the years of doing for the very same people was forgotten.
It was ok for me to struggle, but goodness, don’t let that struggle touch them… Don’t get me wrong, in a fight I am going to come out on top. I will learn what I need to do, I will create solutions to improve the situation and I will diligently work until I am back on top again. I never give up. (and that is a topic for another day)
On that path, I realized that some people were coming with me and others were choosing another path. And, in order for all of us to grow, I had to let go of some of the people from my past. Our paths were divergent. As I have continued to pull myself up that rocky path and grown as a leader, I realized that I have changed and I was not the person that some of these people had known for all these years. In fact, they might not even like the new, improved (my opinion) me. I HAD TO BE OK WITH THIS. I made those choices and these were the consequences.
Scared but hopefully looking forward……
Creating a buzz…
I have asked myself that question more times than I can even count now.
Suddenly, at 50, I realized my second marriage was collapsing, my 12 year old son was having psycho-somatic illnesses due to the stress in the house, my 15 year old daughter had just had an emotional breakdown and my 19 year old step son was so afraid that he would be homeless. I felt like I was in a war zone. Moving from one crisis to the next. Not to mention, my business was losing revenue in the 6 digits.
That was just over 2 years. The radical change of direction in my journey brought me to a complete standstill. I began to question everything, there have been times when friends, family and associates did not understand the decisions I was making. There was a part of me that wanted their approval. But finally, I realized that I was on this journey, and that I had to make sure that the shoes I was wearing were comfortable for me. I would need to walk in them for a long time. For too many years, I had done what I was told to do, expected to do and felt obligated to do. I had to learn to trust myself.
I sat down with a list of things I wanted to take on my journey; my optimistic outlook, my leadership ability and the authentic ME. (not the person I tried to be for others) I discarded all the stuff that did not feel right.
Then I made list of things I would need to improve the long term journey. I need to get back to learning new things: business skills for a new market place, understand who I really am and what is really important to me and finally set boundaries for myself.
While 2 years may or may not sound like a long time, it has gone by with incredible speed. Business is just starting to improve, my home life is happy (younger two are healthy and the step son was never homeless) and I wake up every day excited about where the journey will take me today.
Creating a buzz…….
*picture from https://twitter.com/wilsonmarc/media