As I reflect on Mother’s Day …

Kim BrustAs I reflect on Mother’s Day, I look at my meme and think about my own hive and the lessons that my mom taught me and I have taught my children. Without fail, those lessons are the things that I did – without even thinking about it. I would have to believe it was true of my mother and all mothers, to some degree.

Certainly, we talk to our children about life and what is important, but some things can only be taught over life experiences.  Things like resilience, integrity, how to think about failure.

As a child, my mother taught me that nothing is free.  If you want it, you will need to work for it. Work harder than expected, give more than you earn and do it with a positive, can-do attitude. Thank you, Mom!  I got it! Mother's Day

She showed me that family is first and may require sacrifices. Birthdays are special. Christmas has magic. Showing up everyday is important. Time spent with loved ones in conversation keeps you connected.

Thank you, Mom!  I got it!

Kim BrustFinally, in Jeff Olson’s book  ‘The Slight Edge’ he put my mom’s actions into a mantra: small steps taken consistently over a long period of time with faith and burning desire You will achieve your goals.  I say this every opportunity I can to my children.  And as each of them have their own individualized struggles, I know that they have seen that mantra work and they will live their life the same way.

Thanks, Mom! Lesson Learned!

Creating a buzz .¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Your journey to finding your passions – Part 2

Your journey to finding your passions started with your strengths, personality and stories.  Step 2 will require quiet contemplation and, perhaps, require a little visual stimulation.

Kimberly BrustI used Pinterest.  I searched core values.  There were many pins that had lists of core values.  These are the words that describe those things you hold to be the most important things in your life.  Normally, people will have 4 or 5 of these that are really more important than anything else.  You will see these in the stories you wrote down in step one.

One of the pins I looked at had 450 values.  I went through and wrote down the words that resonated with me.  Then, I weened the list down until I had a true idea of my core values.

The pattern of my stories reflected my core values.  My one example for me was education.  I remember I had my daughter March of 1996 and in August of 1996 I started my MBA. I was so excited to be learning new STUFF.  Excited to meet smart, innovative, creative business people looking to expand their horizons.  I knew when I saw the word ‘education,’ that was a core value.

From that point on, I began trying to learn all kinds of new things. I also began a program at work to reward people that were getting additional education and help with some of their expenses. The incredible thing was, I was waking up excited, could not wait for the next day, constantly reading and listening to things I had an interest in.  My team members also felt the excitement and started learning new things.  All 8 of my team members are expanding their horizons with college courses and/or professional certifications.

Find your core values.  As we move forward in discovering your passion, you will need these.

Creating a buzz .¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

 

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What does it take to find your passion?

Maybe you had it and you lost it. Maybe you never had it. How do you know when you are doing it?

What is your passionThese are questions that have been driving me the last four years.  What is my passion? How do I find it?  Where do I start?

In this post, I want to get you started.

First step, do some self discovery.  I used a couple of tools to find my strengths and gifts again.  Specifically, a Myers Briggs survey, Strengthfinders 2.0, and reviewing my past history.  The first two are pretty straight forward, but the last one takes some time to create a story.  What I found most helpful is looking at the times in my life when I could not wait to start. Felt excited or energized about what was happening.  I wrote these events down in my journal.  I tried to reflect on how I was feeling, what I liked about what was happening.  This took time. Once I had a few stories written down, I started to look for patterns and similarities.  Then I wrote those down.  This was the beginning of finding my passion.

If you are looking for yours, start with the above steps to begin the journey.

Creating a buzz .¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Why do women shame other women for their choices?

Kim BrustCulturally, we have shamed women for wearing makeup, body type,  working, breast feeding or not, aging and even personality traits.

What are we doing?  Should I feel bad that I am curvy and not thin?  That I love to wear makeup, especially lipstick? That I love to work and wanted to have children? Why are my choices up for debate by other women and the media as to which is better for me?

Are we as women so insecure in our own choices that we must criticize and judge those that make different choices?  Isn’t it time to band together and accept each other for the choices we make, even when we might disagree?

Get right with yourself and your choices – then allow other women to do the same.  We are all on a journey, so let’s not define each other by our choices and shame those that chose differently!

Little by little…a small band of people can change the world.  Stop the shaming! Let’s spread the word!

Creating a buzz…….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Baby Boomers and Getting Married

Kim BrustAccording to many studies, more and more baby boomers are becoming single and not wanting to get married.  This presents some questions that should be considered:

  • What happens if I get sick and can no longer work?
  • How will I afford retirement?
  • Do I have a plan for my funeral and final expenses?
  • Have I told anyone?
  • Who will I ask for help?

All these questions and more based on your personal situation.

Whether we are male or female, whether we took care of the finances, we need to have a plan and let the people we will rely on know it.  Too many times things take us by surprise and the decisions we make under stress are not as thought out as they should be.

If you are single, especially over 50, get a plan, share it with your loved ones right away.  Don’t let the wrong person decide for you.

Creating a buzz…….¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Self Discovery

I turned 50 almost 4 years ago and got divorced the same year.  Since then, it has been a time of great change and self discovery for me.  Like most people, my initial reaction was run, run, run, work, kids, play, date and deny, then repeat.  I did this for the first three years.  I finally had to say, “what do I want?”  This was not it.

This is when the self discovery started.  I have read some books, enrolled in coaching and am learning to spend time with myself.  Some of it difficult and at times I feel afraid ( but believe me, I never told anyone.) I realized that the running was keeping me from facing myself square on with the truth that I needed to hear.

I could spend the rest of my life alone, and I better make sure that I like myself and can do things I want by myself.

self discovery I would definitely not go out to dinner by myself unless it was my only option or happened to be traveling for work.

This year, as I wrote my goals, I reflected on what I needed to do to prepare for the time when my kids were all gone, which is only about 1 1/2 years. What would I do with all this time? I did not want to be one of those people that could only talk about their kids because they had never gotten back to themselves.

This year I will start to conquer my fear of doing things alone.  My first weekend away is scheduled this month.  I will let you know how it goes.

If you have finally gotten back to you, please let me know how your process went and what you did.

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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You are a disappointment

“You are a disappointment.”

Just let that sink in.

Kim Brust, Kimberly BrustLike many women my age, we have spent our lives trying to create a sense of a superwoman. Be high achieving, perfect mother, extraordinary and sexy wife/lover, a sensitive, caring friend, sister, daughter, president of the PTO or other charitable event and never, I mean never complain or look disheveled.

And of all those things, you fail at one. Which one?

It doesn’t matter!

All the wonderful things you do and have done have just been wiped away by this one failure.  One aspect of your life where you have not experienced the success or happiness that you had hoped for.

What do you do?  How do you respond to that negative talk, whether it comes from someone or in your own head?

Help……

Creating a buzz…..¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

 

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Immediate gratification. Instantaneous results.

Immediate gratification.  Instantaneous results. First one in. Newer is better. I want it now!

immediate gratificationWe have become a society of I want it first and now with no consideration of can I afford it or what the cost is.  This is very evident in the cell phone market.  Every time a new model comes out, people are running to get it, even when the changes are minor.  The phone companies have even developed plans to help us achieve immediate gratification.  Pay this amount and upgrade every 12 months.  Or sign a two-year contract and receive a new phone.  You know you are paying for this.

One lesson I have taught my kids is “nothing is free.”  Somewhere, somehow there is a cost built in.

I mean, was there enough of a difference from the 6 to the 6s?  Forget the hype and the media telling us that we need it.  It is time to start looking at the true cost of what we purchase to determine if what we are getting is of value.

A friend once told me that she loved M&M’s and every day at 3 she would like to go get a bag. But she realized that is was just an impulse and that her figure did not need those M&M’s everyday.  So, she would postpone the gratification and many times she would realize that she really did not want them.  By postponing the immediate gratification, she had more money in her pocket, less weight on the scale and was in control of her impulses.

Let’s start the new year, learning to control our need for immediate gratification!

How will you make the change?

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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There is no class to teach our children life skills

I have lived in Florida for my entire life.  I have heard about how the education process needs to change.  We went from math to new math, phonics to sight words and back to phonics again.  However, one thing has not changed.  There is no class to teach our children life skills.

teach children life skillsMy two sons and I were eating dinner one night.  I had just purchased a car for my daughter.  My youngest one asked, “How did you know about buying cars, mom?”  I let him know that it was a process of mistakes that I learned from.  “Well, how did you know how to get a mortgage?”  I said, “I bought my first house when I was 25 and asked questions.” They both agreed that these are things that need to be taught in school.

I was thinking about it.  How many times as an adult, do we feel that we have been taken advantage of at the car dealership?  Do we really understand all the papers you sign at a mortgage?  Believe me, you will have a book when you are done.

Young people don’t know how to reconcile their bank statements, write a check, or understand the cost of money.

As my job involves money and assets, I believe that giving my team an education in money and how it works will help them pay it forward.

Educating our young people about money, budgeting and finance is how they need to spend part of their school career.  Understanding this will help not only individual families but the financial future for everyone.

Creating a buzz……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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Learning who you are now

I know have written previous posts about learning who you are now….. but I thought it was time for an update.

On my journey to discover what I like and what I want to do with my free time has begun to get clearer for me.  In my 20’s is when I was in the me, me, me time.  I have reflected on that time to get a base line of what I enjoyed back then.

Kim Brust, Kimberly BrustConcerts, travel, singing and anything on the water was where I felt most joyful.  But, also, doing these things with people I enjoyed made it so much more special.  Money is always an issue, but I have had a great time going to concerts and performances, finding bargains for travel and have even had an opportunity to sing with my son’s band.  Still hoping to get a boat someday…but with kids in college, that one might take awhile.  In the meantime, finding my joy has been exciting and a bit scary at times.

The next hurdle will be starting to do things by myself……

The journey continues.

Creating a buzz…..……¯`•.¸¸.ஐ

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