Why do we need conflict? I hate it. I avoid it. I want everyone to be happy. It makes me anxious. I lose sleep when I know I have to face it.
For 51 years I avoided conflict. I would agree just to keep the peace. What I thought really was not that big of a deal, right? Until I exploded! It wasn’t pretty and I can’t believe that I was that angry. People that knew me were in shock. I was shocked as well.
That was my wake up call. I knew I had to stand up for myself for what I wanted or thought was important. The happiness of others was not my job. But ultimately, by avoiding conflict, my relationships were superficial.
Then, for work, I read the book, “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” by Patrick Lencioni. It helped me see that conflict needs to happen and that when it is honest and respectful, the outcome can create a more harmonious relationship. And while this was set in the work environment, it works perfectly well in my personal life as well.
When faced with conflict, I tell myself that the outcome will be good. Be honest! Be respectful! Listen to other person! Keep an open mind! I have tried it twice with good results. This gives me the courage to do it again. I still get anxious about the process but with the good outcomes, I know that I can push through!
creating a buzz……