Feel like a spider without a web?

Have you ever gotten to a point in your journey where you felt like you were a spider without a web?  Let me describe what I mean.

spider without a web, Kim Brust, Kimberly Brust I use a spider web to describe my life.  The spider spins his web by first laying down the anchor lines.  To me these are the people in our life that we have a shared history with for many years.  Those people that anchor us – like family, a spouse, children and even a best friend of many years.  As we spin the web, we connect with these anchors over and over again.  It is the pattern of this shared history that makes us feel connected and understood.  Someone that knows where we came from and who knows the events that have shaped us.

However, what happens when you have to cut one of the anchor lines? Or maybe two? It can feel like the web is unraveling.  I feel this way.  Over the last 3 years, I have had to cut a couple of anchor lines that were negative.  And even though we had a shared history, the relationship was toxic. Since this time, I have felt a bit lost.  My connection to the people that had known me for years was growing smaller and smaller.

  • Who could I call and talk things over with?
  • Who knew where I came from to help ease my fear?
  • Who could I cry with?
  • Who would  share the joyful events?

Quiet honestly, maybe I will never be able to replace those anchor lines…..

But I remind myself that the new web that I build will look different.  I may have fewer anchor lines but my web will be a more beautiful web without the toxic lines I was attached to.

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